I saw a big protest outside an elementary school.

Lots of activists, the usual e pluribus complainum crowd.

Big signs said:  “Stolen Land!” “No One is Illegal!” “ICE is illegal!” 

Musta been about forty people there, most of them under four feet tall.

The tall ones with the blue hair were teachers.

It’s not fair that teachers impose their political views on vulnerable kids, at least not before naptime.

That’s an abuse of power. Teachers can find that on Bumble.

So I decided to hold a counter protest — just me and my incredibly self-confident ego.

I got some old cardboard. I got a big black marker. And I wrote in big block letters so the blockheads could read it.

Then, I held up my sign from across the street from the school. I didn’t say a word. I just stood there. It was my John Cusack moment.

Before long, kids started crying. Then, the crying kids started to point. Then, all the kids got crying.

One of the blue-hair teachers came stamping across the street.

“What are you doing? That sign is disgusting!”

“At least, it’s true,” I tell her.

She says: “These kids are six years old! They don’t need you spoiling Santa Claus!”

“Okay,” I say. “You end your protest. I’ll end mine.”

Upshot:  In case you’re wondering, it can take a whole night before you make bail.